"The Rationale of Rational Support"

When Hurricane Katrina literally flooded the city of New Orleans in 2005, religious leader Pat Robertson of the 700 Club was quoted saying that the lives lost in this natural disaster was a direct result of God’s wrath for human transgressions like abortion.

The late Reverend Jerry Fallwell on the other hand connected the September 11 terrorist attack with homosexuality. Gays were apparently the cause of the fall of the Twin Towers.

When the March 2011 earthquake in Japan brought about the devastating tsunami that destroyed major cities in the said country, I did an experiment and Googled some related keywords. And sure enough, it didn’t take long before religious fundamentalists linked the event to the country's lack of Christianity.

In my own church years back, I heard my pastor during one Sunday morning chapel service, referencing the religious statue industry thriving in parts of Pampanga as one of the causes of the Mount Pinatubo eruption in 1991.

I mention these things right now because I am currently undergoing a major crisis in my personal life and it incidentally coincided with my decision to turn my back away from believing that there is a God.

Of course I am not about to conclude that my problems right now are a direct result of becoming an atheist, but I am quite sure that there are people out there who would readily consider that I am right now in fact being punished by their God simply because I denounced my former beliefs. It’s I guess that natural itch that some people have to be able to say, “I told you so!” when something goes wrong.

But a less far fetched idea is that if devoted theist friends knew of my current predicament, I am quite sure that they will offer prayers for me and possibly even plead with God that if my situation has anything to do at all with my being an atheist that I be mercifully spared from any further misfortune.

On the other side of the spectrum, I have some atheist friends extending help in the form of information on how to go about solving my problem. They provide links to reference materials that I can use. They offer actual assistance and even ask if I can hang out and just talk.

And though it is not a question of sincerity in both cases, there lies the obvious distinction.

That’s I guess my beef with the process of trying to be the ambassador for someone to God in the form of prayer. I wrote in an atheist Facebook wall comment (in reference to prayer rallies) that “If a Christian prays for 3 days for the people in Japan and I give 3 pesos to a Japan Earthquake relief fund, there are people who would actually argue that the Christian has done more in comparison”.

“Let Go and Let God” (or “Ipagpa sa Diyos” roughly translated in my native tongue) was a popular inspirational phrase I often hear in churches and bible studies. And when people ask me what’s wrong with religion in times of trouble, it is precisely that very quote that concerns me as it is actually thought of by some as being admirable to put this philosophy in practice.

And I'm glad that I am no longer in that frame of mind. In my darkest moments, not once have I been tempted to call out to a God for help. Instead I have told friends and some family members. I try to keep my self sane by preoccupying myself with music or books. I have drawn my strength from rationally mapping out my recovery plan with the help of my wife and with the inspiration of my loving daughter.

It’s been terribly hard I will admit, but I feel that when I do have moments of hope it is well anchored in facts and within the realms of reality.

If you are a theist and you are my friend and you have offered prayers for me, I thank you still. But I choose to believe that if this ordeal that I am undergoing is indeed a test, it is not one of faith, but rather a test of reason.